Over 20 Apps for rPlank™ (and counting!)
Official PiratePalooza.com™ brand Apps on rPlank™ look funny and smell worse1. They only be available from the Online Apps Bazaar in small quantities and we think about making more from time to time. We even wrote a book to help you figure them out!
Officially Licensed PiratePalooza™ Apps™ for rPlank™
Play a minuet. Show your wench some naughty books from France. Watch a stereographic zoetrope. Write a love letter down to Dover. Present your treasure map to your band of ruffians. Crunch some skulls. rPlank™ even makes a good soup stock2! Are you a Developer? Get started on your own Apps now!
Every App™ is a Work of Art
Just take a gander at the Stereoscopic Zoetrope App™ - isn't she a beauty? From her spinning carbon arc platters to her delicate brass filigree, this be a precision instrument what shouts "I is an expensive piece of kit!!" and "Here now, who'd you steal me from anyhow??". There be no doubt that you would be proud to show this App™ to the other gumless ruffians aboard the ship. Every night you can crank out the same five frames of your favorite Johnny Depp movie over and over and over until you be spent3. This be a premiere example of Captain Drew's "Piratepunk™" technology.4
Click thumbnail images to enlarge
rPlank™ can do anything
With the ability to quickly change out Apparatuses using its handy brass knobs, rPlank™ can do just about anything you needs it to, including tromping awfully close to jealously guarded corporate properties (albeit satirically). It be a weapon! Now it be a research tool! Now it be a means of coercing drunken wenches into visiting your hammock. rPlank™ be all things to all scoundrels. Here be a short list of Apparatuses™ that should be available by the time rPlank™ begins shipping:
- Arrrr Broadside (Cruel Captain Anderrrson)
- Autoharrrrp (Ho Music, Limited)
- Charrrrrts (Arrrrple)
- Toy Story of the Caribbean V (Pixarrrrr)
- The High Seas Journal (Murrrrdock)
- Naughty Pirate Ramblings (NPR)
- Popular Natural Philosophy (The Royal Society for Pirates)
- Bootay Today (Arrrrnet Company)
- The Swag App (Trump Industries)
- Calendarrrr (Mister Shuffles' Clock Emporium)
- Stock Report (James Cramer is an hooting orangutan)
- Scurvy! The Game (some Frenchman)
- Weather Apparatus (Weller Brothers Whaling and Apparatuses, Ltd)
- Traveling Writing Desk (Pen Pals Unlimited, Ltd)
- Candleabra (Starbuggy Enterprises)
- Solo Whist (Max-Planck-Gesellschaft zur Förderung der Brüste )
- Treasure Chest (Parton Enterprises)
- Victorian Naughty Books (Bodice Rippers Amalgamated)
- Twitarrrr (Norwegian Blü)
- Treasure Maps (Spence Maps, Inc)
- Compass (Magellan (the real guy))
- Stereoscopic Zoetrope (Bell & Howler)
Deadly Earnest Warnings
- No two rPlank™s smell alike. No refunds.
- So long as you like really, really smelly soup.
- Celebrity name used without permission.
- A technology that be far superior to that of them steamboat people.